Poetry. Seems dead. Even hearing its purported virtues can feel high-minded, conservative, retrograde, stodgy, stuffy, fanciful, a plain waste of time. It’s not. It can shape us well beyond the broken lines on the page. Why read poetry? So why read … Read more

As revealed in my private practice, one of the most trepidatious acts for people seems quite simple: To begin. We can take a “pick yourself up by the bootstraps” approach. I frankly believe there’s a time and place for that … Read more

If you’re reading this and you love your phone have at it. But most of us have issues around our phones. As do, I imagine, the mom who pushes her stroller and scrolls through her feed. The family at a … Read more

A common refrain issued to a person suffering relationship woes often includes the dictum “detach.” But what is healthy detachment really and how is it that so many get it so wrong? What detachment is not Our self-help version of … Read more

While cooking dinner together my daughter pulled some dorado from the oven and placed the baking dish on the stove. As she moved to another task, I placed a kitchen towel along the edges of the dish. “Dad,” she exclaimed, … Read more

Interruption is an impactful breach. In fact, few things destroy our interpersonal lives quite like it. A top criterion for any friend should be that person’s ability to listen well, without interruption. The same goes for a great therapist.[1]In seeming … Read more

Imagine for a moment that you, as I do, run a private psychotherapy practice. A colleague has referred a client, telling you little about them, and you are to meet for the first time. When they[1]The pronoun “they” is used … Read more

I have what you might call self-directed conversations. I use a voice recorder to essentially talk to myself out loud. I do this when I’m alone and (though I try to minimize it) even when others pass by. I’m doing it … Read more

The science regarding the benefits of exercise is resounding. And while we’d do well to listen to it, it’s equally important to listen to ourselves. What happens to us on a personal level via exercise, and in particular during resistance training? For … Read more

In another post we looked at gaslighting. Unfortunately gaslighting itself can be used as a means to control the narrative and to deny another their reality. Discerning between what is gaslighting and actual cognitive distortion in a relationship is a crucial … Read more