There’s a common belief that guilt—the feeling of having done something wrong—serves a needed function, that as a “prosocial emotion” it pushes those in its grips to mend the harm caused to another. While this sometimes occurs, my work in … Read more
Most patients come to therapy carrying unbearable pain. This pain is kept hidden from others. It is also kept hidden from the self by acts of splitting, i.e., by removing them from consciousness. So the patient lives in a state … Read more
With a mix of pride and shame I confess to having clocked hundreds of hours playing Red Dead Redemption 2. Like my all-time favorite video game, Witcher 3, I most enjoy moving my character through open worlds, exploring vast territories … Read more
Therapy has been trending. From athletes to school systems to social media it’s hard to go anywhere without seeing some mention of mental health. And while awareness of mental health may be a good thing, we do run the risk of diluting … Read more
From the merely mundane to the release of rubble buried in the unconscious, therapists focus on what is said during a session. This is for good reason. But psychodynamic therapy is not merely talk therapy, it’s relational therapy. And as … Read more
I’m not an anxious person, but I do get anxious. And few things make me more anxious than my “smartphone.” While there’s emerging research on this, plus a recent report that Apple plans to do something about it, I would … Read more
We hear it now as a truism: These are uncertain times. Uncertainty gets attached to big events climate change and war, both existent and future, but its most depleting manifestations may be those in our daily lives, or what we … Read more
Sigmund Freud said “everyone owes nature a death.” Death is always with us, waiting. It worries and terrifies us. Its presence seeps into who we are and what we do. And most of the time we avoid it—at a cost. The … Read more
Living in L.A., one confronts a world of acquisition. A quick glance at the neighbor or a fellow parent or a passerby reveals all that can be had and displayed. We get tricked into believing that we constantly suffer from … Read more
For many, the idea of confrontation induces fear. We tend to think of it as aggressive and repellent. But there’s another perspective. Confrontation, done right, can lead to closeness and intimacy. With confrontation you’ve gone to the uncomfortable side of things … Read more
