Re Self

Sigmund Freud said “everyone owes nature a death.” Death is always with us, waiting. It worries and terrifies us. Its presence seeps into who we are and what we do. And most of the time we avoid it—at a cost. The … Read more

Living in L.A., one confronts a world of acquisition. A quick glance at the neighbor or a fellow parent or a passerby reveals all that can be had and displayed.  We get tricked into believing that we constantly suffer from … Read more

For many, the idea of confrontation induces fear. We tend to think of it as aggressive and repellent. But there’s another perspective. Confrontation, done right, can lead to closeness and intimacy. With confrontation you’ve gone to the uncomfortable side of things … Read more

Advertising, we’re told, is a necessary evil. It pays the bills, funds free content and keeps consumer prices low. I equate advertising rather simply with pollution. And it’s a pollution that by some estimates we take in 6,000 to 10,000 … Read more

Poetry. Seems dead. Even hearing its purported virtues can feel high-minded, conservative, retrograde, stodgy, stuffy, fanciful, a plain waste of time. It’s not. It can shape us well beyond the broken lines on the page. Why read poetry? So why read … Read more

As revealed in my private practice, one of the most trepidatious acts for people seems quite simple: To begin. We can take a “pick yourself up by the bootstraps” approach. I frankly believe there’s a time and place for that … Read more

If you’re reading this and you love your phone have at it. But most of us have issues around our phones. As do, I imagine, the mom who pushes her stroller and scrolls through her feed. The family at a … Read more

A common refrain issued to a person suffering relationship woes often includes the dictum “detach.” But what is healthy detachment really and how is it that so many get it so wrong? What detachment is not Our self-help version of … Read more

While cooking dinner together my daughter pulled some dorado from the oven and placed the baking dish on the stove. As she moved to another task, I placed a kitchen towel along the edges of the dish. “Dad,” she exclaimed, … Read more

Interruption is an impactful breach. In fact, few things destroy our interpersonal lives quite like it. A top criterion for any friend should be that person’s ability to listen well, without interruption. The same goes for a great therapist.[1]In seeming … Read more