A common refrain issued to a person suffering relationship woes often includes the dictum “detach.” But what is healthy detachment really and how is it that so many get it so wrong? What detachment is not Our self-help version of … Read more
While cooking dinner together my daughter pulled some dorado from the oven and placed the baking dish on the stove. As she moved to another task, I placed a kitchen towel along the edges of the dish. “Dad,” she exclaimed, … Read more
Interruption is an impactful breach. In fact, few things destroy our interpersonal lives quite like it. A top criterion for any friend should be that person’s ability to listen well, without interruption. The same goes for a great therapist.[1]In seeming … Read more
Imagine for a moment that you, as I do, run a private psychotherapy practice. A colleague has referred a client, telling you little about them, and you are to meet for the first time. When they[1]The pronoun “they” is used … Read more
I have what you might call self-directed conversations. I use a voice recorder to essentially talk to myself out loud. I do this when I’m alone and (though I try to minimize it) even when others pass by. I’m doing it … Read more
The science regarding the benefits of exercise is resounding. And while we’d do well to listen to it, it’s equally important to listen to ourselves. What happens to us on a personal level via exercise, and in particular during resistance training? For … Read more
In another post we looked at gaslighting. Unfortunately gaslighting itself can be used as a means to control the narrative and to deny another their reality. Discerning between what is gaslighting and actual cognitive distortion in a relationship is a crucial … Read more
The term “gaslighting” has become a catch-all and therefore misused. Here we’ll look at gaslighting and in a related entry we’ll look at cognitive distortions to make an important inter-personal and clinical distinction. What is gaslighting? Gaslighting[1]The term has its … Read more
Three years ago I received a dog. He’s everything that a certain set would tell me he shouldn’t be: a pure breed (Wirehaired Vizsla), he was flown over from a foreign country (Hungary) and he has a relentless instinct to hunt. … Read more
There are now countless YouTube videos extolling the benefits of not consuming alcohol. While I largely agree with what’s on offer a simple but profound benefit is overlooked: Eliminating alcohol helps rid us of regret. Even without a blistering hangover, or hangxiety, … Read more
